bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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