i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
