Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We need a shit load of segways right now
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
