I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's shark week go big or go home
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
