She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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