I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
