A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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