Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
