Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
