my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
