i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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