Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
