oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
