i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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