your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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