Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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