My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize