The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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