There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
