This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
