omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
