K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
