They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
