totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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