Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize