Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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