Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
please come you make the beer taste better
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
