So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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