I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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