You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
