I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
be right there i have to get my cape
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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