Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
