i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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