I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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