JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
