well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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