i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize