i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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