How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
