I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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