just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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