Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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