It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
