i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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