You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
