32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
