i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
