Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
