Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I don't think brook has ever known best
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
