hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize