Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
