i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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