Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
