Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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